Have you ever been able to clearly predict that a situation was going to go wrong in your team or organization? Like most of us you probably said (hopefully just to yourself) “I told you so?” Have you also caught yourself muttering “I kept telling them this was a problem but nobody would listen?”

Some people are unreasonable and won’t heed advice or warnings. But too often, we’re way too quick to point our finger at their lack of listening. What’s much harder – and rarer – is to realize that there’s often a very good reason people aren’t listening to us; our influence ability is weak.

Here’s an exercise from my Growing the Distance: Personal Implementation Guide to help you reflect on a situation you want to influence and assess how you’re doing at the on the 12 key factors in our Influence Index.

Increasing My Influence

Ask yourself what is the particular situation is you want to influence? And then consider these factors:

1=Extremely Weak
5=Extremely Strong

1. My clarity around what a successful outcome would look like 1…2…3…4…5
2. My understanding of their position and win (how they’ll benefit) 1…2…3…4…5
3. My persuasion and communication skills 1…2…3…4…5
4. My timing and the fit of my proposed action with the situation 1…2…3…4…5
5. My tone and approach (will I increase or decrease defensiveness and conflict?) 1…2…3…4…5
6. My genuine desire for a win/win outcome 1…2…3…4…5
7. My credibility with this person or group 1…2…3…4…5
8. My passion and commitment (including persistence) 1…2…3…4…5
9. Our levels of mutual trust 1…2…3…4…5
10. The strength of our relationship 1…2…3…4…5
11. How well I’ve covered the bases with other key influencers and built their support 1…2…3…4…5
12. My appointed role, position, and authority 1…2…3…4…5

Scoring:

• 45 points or higher – You are in a strong position to influence that person or group in that situation.
• 25 – 44 points – Not very strong. You might want to wait for a better time or strengthen a few of your lowest areas.
• 24 points or lower – Your ability to influence is very low. You clearly have a lot of work to do if you want to increase your leadership on that issue or in that situation.

What’s been your experience in influencing others? What have been the keys to getting others to listen to your advice or direction?